pathology_doc

Dear beloved,

You're not my beloved!

I know that this letter may be a very big surprise to you, I came across your email contact from my personal search and I instructed the doctor here in this hospital to help me email you and I believe that you will be honest to fulfill my final wish before I will die.

To call the Peelers on you?

I am Mrs. Gloria Caldwell from LONDON, I am 58 years old, I am deaf and suffering from a long time cancer of the breast, which also affected my brain.

Obviously, or you wouldn't be pulling a 419 scam. You scum, milking sympathy from the gullible and well-meaning in this fashion.

From all indication my condition is really deteriorating, and my doctors have courageously advised me that I may not live beyond the next two months, this is because the cancer stage has reached a critical stage. I was brought up in a motherless baby's home, and was married to my late husband for twenty years without a child.

Somewhere there's a violin playing, but a Stradivarius would be wasted on you.

My husband and I are true Christians, but quite unfortunately, he died in a fatal motor accident.

Pray tell, Mrs Caldwell; why do your garden secateurs have traces of rubber and dry brake fluid on the blades?

Since his death I decided not to re-marry, I sold all my inherited belongings and deposited all the sum of $3.2million dollars with a BANK.

You do mean pounds sterling, don't you?

Presently, this money is still in their custody,

And why would it not be?

and the management just wrote me as the Legitimate beneficiary

I believe the term is "account holder".

to come forward to receive the money after keeping it for so long or rather issue a letter of authorization to somebody to receive it on my behalf since I can not come over as a result of my illness, or they get it confiscated.

And return it to the people you scammed it from?

Presently, I'm with my laptop in a hospital where I have been undergoing treatment. I have since lost my ability to talk

"You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law."

and my doctors have told me that I have only a few months to live.

"I should spend the money quickly, Commander Bond."

It is my last wish to see that this money is invested in any organization of your choice and distributed each year among the charity organization, the poor

What? All of them?

and the motherless baby's home where I come from.

$3.2 million divided by, say, not less than 3200 million poor and hungry people in the world is... gee, not much!

I want your good humanitarian, to also use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows around.

Um... between the charity of my choice, the poor - all of them - and your former orphanage, there's not that much left. You wouldn't have a spare few billion on hand, would you?

I must let you know that this was a very hard decision, but I had to take a bold step towards this issue because I have no further option.

The forensic accountants and the tax office were closing in, were they?

I hope you will help see my last wishes come true.

This is what a lawyer is for. But then, you probably need a different sort of lawyer right now.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the BANK.

And I shall direct the bank to INTERPOL's website, just like I did with your colleague. *Checks recent bookmarks*

I will also issue you a letter of authority, which will prove that you are the new beneficiary of my funds. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated herein. Hope to hear from you soonest.

Hope in vain.

Awaiting your reply

Yours in Christ,

Wait till He sees you've been serving Mammon. Hope you've got fireproof knickers for the afterlife; you're going to need them.

Mrs. Gloria Caldwell

Who probably doesn't exist as such, any more than Big Brother, or Emanuel Goldstein, or Miss Joanna Morrison do.

Okay, this has to have been made with Twilight in mind.





*evil grin*