Scam e-mails. BRING ON THE SPORK.

I am Joanna the only child of my late parents Mr.and Mrs.johnson Morrison. My father was ahighly reputable busnness magnet who operated in the capital during his days.

A business magnet? How interesting! Bar, horseshoe, or toroidal?

It is sad to say that he passed away mysteriously in France during one of his business trips abroad on the September 2006. Though his sudden death was linked or rather suspected to have been master minded by an uncle of his who traveled with him at that time.

OH NOES, A WICKED UNCLE!

But God knows the truth!

So do we all now, apparently. Sounds like Ms Morrison's magnetic father attracted not only business but also lead!

My mother died when I was just 6yrs old, and since then my father took me so special.

I don't even want to begin thinking about the implications of this. WAITER!! BRAINBLEACH!!!

Before his death on September 2006, he called me and informed me that he has the sum of Seven Million, Four Hundred Thousand United State Dollars. (USD $ 7,400,000.00) left in fixed deposit account in one of the leading banks here.

Where's 'here'? Lagos?

He further told me that he deposited the money in my name, and also gave me all the necessary but legal documents to this fund with the bank.

As opposed to the necessary but illegal ones? The unnecessary but legal ones? The mind boggles.

I am just 21 years old and a university undergraduate and really do not know what to do.

Getting out of the scamming game before you get arrested might be a good idea! Alternatively, you might want to put some of that money towards a better English teacher. Er... and pushing F7 while you're in your word processor might also help from time to time. Or right-click on those squiggly red and green lines that appear underneath the words. That'll have much the same effect.

Now I want an account overseas where I can transfer this funds and after the transaction I will come and reside permanently in your country till such a time that it will be convinient for me to return back home if I so desire. This is because I have Suffered a lot of set backs as a result of incessant political crisishere in my CONUTRY.

I suspect the convenient time will probably be 'never'. Between her mother who died when she was six, her father who took her so special for fifteen years after that and his uncle who murdered him, it sounds like her country's incessant political crisis is the least of her problems!

The death of my father actually brought sorrow to my life.

Fancy that! I'd never have guessed.

I also want to invest the fund under your care because I am ignorant of business world.

Got news for you, honey - anyone who responds to your little scam is by definition even more ignorant.

I am in a sincere desire of your humble assistance in this regards. Your suggestions and ideas will be highly regarded.

How does "fuck off" sound?

Now permit me to ask these few questions:

1. Can you honestly help me from your heart?

No.

2. Can I completely trust you?

Sure you can. *Opens browser window, starts typing: http://www.interpol.int/ *

Please, consider this and get back to me as soon as possible.Immedaitely I confirm your willingness, I will send to you The Detail

The only detail you're going to see is the detail of men in trenchcoats with guns and handcuffs who come knocking on your door early one morning. Name's Spade, Sam Spade.


And Also inform you more details involved in this matter.

Any further information is too much information.

Kind Regards,
Miss Joanna Morrison

Whoever this person is, wherever they are, I can almost guarantee that their name is not Joanna Morrison. One of their many passports might have that name, but that's about all.